Insanely Sane

So, i was sitting here, thinking how i would survive if… you got it: If a Zombie-Apocalypse occurred. Well, i give things alot of careful thought, and then i consult the closest i can find to the truth, and my advice is to follow this book!

In this book, there are steps to take, places to go to, not to go to, what weapons to use, how to make yourself comfortable in such a situation. 

I find this book quite amusing as well as fascinating, that one man actually took time to think through a whole survival guide for something that hasn’t occurred yet. And i know, it might seem wrong of me, but i kind of hope that some day, there will be such an event, because i would rule the herd!

The Plan

Ok, so here is how i would do if i was caught in the middle of a zombie massacre:

As soon as i’d get the feel of something going on, or if i’d see people running down streets screaming and waving their arms around like wound-shot cows, i’d flick on the news, get the info about where the outbreaks are worst and set up a plan. In my hometown, there isnt a whole lot of places to go, but first things first:

I’d get the closest object i could use as a weapon, and in this case, my sharpened Machete (Yes, i have a machete for just such occations.) And also remember, guns are good, but melee weapons don’t have to be reloaded, and they dont run out of ammo!

Then, with the little training i’d have and the knowledge of the whereabouts of police, army-forces and zombies, i’d get a car, drive off to check if people i know are alright, assuming phonelines are jammed, even the cellphone-lines.

Then, if i’d find people, i’d ask if they had any weapons available for further protection, and also, if they do have it, provisions, and then i mean canned food that lasts. If not, a quick trip to a mall to get stuff is not a bad idea, but more about that later.

Then we’d travel off to find the nearest and strongest possible two-floored house. Check for survivors and/or remaining zombies in the house. Make a shelter up in the second floor, find a ladder, destroy the stairs and use the ladder for going up and down, seeing as zombies cant climb, and also wouldn’t have the option, since we’d take the ladder away when up there. Safety first, everyone!

Then for the provisions. Obviously, we’d have a short stock, so we’d need to find some more food, and malls are always stuffed with it, BUT! The danger of getting attacked in big places are bigger than getting attacked in small places where you have everything under supervision. So, small-time stores is WAY safer, and easier to search! Grab anything of dry food, canned food, frozen food and all that. THen rush back to the shelter and STAY THERE! And for the love of crap, do NOT at any time, have any light on at night. Unnecessary attention is worth avoiding! 

Also, IF you have to travel somewhere, make sure you travel light! Only pack necessary stuff, food, one change of clothes, a compass, map and flashlight. Mostly what you need, anyway! Also, make sure you have on clothes that are tight, and that your hair is cut short. Might be uncomfortable, but i’d rather be uncomfortable than dead!

Oh, and if you have some time and energy to it, bring some games to the shelter you have set up. Things can get boring after a while. 
And always be prepared to be on the move. Remember, no place is safe. Just safer!

Well, i think thats mostly what i have to say. Any suggestions to how you’d do things, just send to me a comment in the “Ask” section found at the top of the page, and i will take any advice and comment you have on this!

Thank you for reading this, and hopefully you will be a lil bit more prepared for the first ever Zombie-disaster that will at some point maybe come our way!

This is Jack, saying:
Stay Insanely Sane!
*Smooches screen*